You may need to sit down for this. It’s official, though, skinny jeans are out. That’s right! If you wear skinny jeans these days, just admit it, you’re old and tragically unhip.
This would seem like a minor blip on the fashion radar, but it is causing many Millennials to lash out. They are visibly distressed and posting about it on TikTok. Millennials appear very attached to their skinny jeans.
To clarify, it’s Generation Z that has issued this decree to the Millennial generation that skinny jeans and also parting one’s hair on the side is old-fashioned. Both are repugnant remnants of the long-gone two-thousand teens.
A brief refresher, members of Generation X (me) were born from 1965 to 1980. The Millennial Generation is comprised of folks born from 1981 to 1996. Generation Z is anyone younger.
Millennials, this means a generation younger than you are old enough to buy alcohol. That hurts, I remember.
This year also marks the beginning of Millennials hitting their 40s. Hang on, I need to pause for a second to laugh hysterically. Okay, okay, I’m fine now.
Previously, Millennials were the youngest and hippest. They burst into the workforce in the early 2000s to let us know. But now, out of nowhere, Generation Z has informed Millennials that they look like dorks.
As a member of Generation X, I’m obviously enjoying this comeuppance of the Millennials. Those pesky Millennials are the generation right below me, and they let me know it.
A Millennial co-worker, after I’d leased a new SUV, “Aren’t you supposed to be downsizing at your age?” Another snot-nosed Millennial once branded me a “cougar” because I was over forty and still groomed myself.
Of course, I got over it because, as a GenXer, I go about my biznaz and get back to work. That’s what GenXers do.
Imagine my surprise when I started to see how upset Millennials are over this skinny jean thing.
I’ve always hated skinny jeans. I like a good boyfriend cut or a bell bottom. But those have been out of style because Millennials preferred the skinny. And I look cute with a middle part, sorry, not sorry. Thank you very much, Generation Z!
Just when I thought it couldn’t get any better for me, Generation Z has also decided dark circles are cool. I’ve spent a lifetime trying to conceal those little moons under my eyes.
Generation Z kids say let those dark circles shine! Some Gen Z beauty influencers are even ADDING dark circles! Hashtag, #normalizedarkcircles.
Oh, what a time to be alive.
It’s okay, you 40-old Millennials, or as some call you, the Elder Millennials. I’m here to prepare you for what’s going to happen. Soon, your new manager at work is going to gleefully declare that you’re as old as his mom.
As you travel deeper into your forties, you’ll be less relevant. By the time you hit 50, if you’re a woman, that is, you will be invisible.
The upside to invisibility, demographically speaking, is you can wear any darn thing you want. There is freedom and wisdom that come with the Caftan years.
I am free to rock a Forenza sweater backward with my acid-washed mini-skirt, white Keds, and cute anklets. There’s a host of things your generation told my generation to just stop doing, and would you look at that, it’s all cool again.
Thanks, Generation Z!
Welcome to middle age Elder Millennials! It’s rough, but it’s better than the alternative.
Originally Published in Monroe News