Jennifer Aniston turned 50 this month! It was big celebrity news!
I, too, turned 50 this month! On this milestone birthday, I took a moment to reflect upon the knowledge and skillsets vital at the half-century mark.
By 50, you should have:
■ A retirement plan.
■ An acceptance that you’ll never retire.
■ A plan for how to handle the fallout when you sneeze/pee (speez.)
■ Comfort in your own skin.
■ A pair of jeans that don’t hurt.
■ An exercise you enjoy and do because you enjoy it not because you want it to change the way you fit in your jeans.
■ By 50 you’ll have been screwed over by your company and have gotten over it.
■ The knowledge that bitterness is unattractive and ruins everything sweet.
■ A recipe for cookies that only you can make just right.
■ A recipe for your attitude that includes the ingredients of generosity and gratitude mixed with self-confidence and self worth.
■ Patience with those who do things differently than you do.
■ Openness to doing some things differently than you used to do.
■ You should have love in your life and ibuprofen in your purse.
■ An acceptance that you don’t recognize most of the artists nominated for a Grammy this year.
■ A charitable cause you passionately support with your whole soul and actually support with your volunteer time.
■ You need to know when to hold ’em and when to fold ’em.
■ Eyeglass readers in every location you could potentially find yourself in.
■ A moisturizer with sunscreen that doesn’t irritate your eyes.
■ You should have honed the skill of politely getting out of a conversation.
■ The ability to recognize toxic people and the discipline to keep them at arm’s length.
■ A different hairstyle than the one you had in high school.
■ A willingness to fight the good fight and the maturity to stay out of the small skirmishes.
■ A go-to phrase for when it becomes necessary to tell someone to kiss your arse.
■ The phone number of a good plumber, electrician, auto mechanic and family doctor.
■ Cash squirreled away for when you need to call the plumber, electrician, auto mechanic or family doctor.
■ A spiritual guide that doesn’t ask for your squirreled-away cash.
■ A sense of adventure paired with comfortable walking shoes.
■ A funny story or two to tell at a dinner party or work function.
■ A classic outfit to wear to a dinner party or work function.
■ A talent for smoothly grabbing the check.
■ An appreciation that the enthusiasm of youth and the wisdom of age can gloriously co-exist.
■ A friend you can call at any time of day or night. Even if you haven’t called them in a decade.
■ By 50 you need to be the person that a treasured few can call any time of day or night.
■ Finally, you totally need a signature dance move.
Originally published in Monroe News