• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Rebecca Regnier

Creator. Author. Columnist.

  • Home
  • Books
  • Blog
  • Video
  • Column
  • About
  • Contact
  • Podcasts
    • Gray AF

Nifty 50 – What You NEED by this Birthday

July 20, 2020 by Rebecca

Jennifer Aniston turned 50 this month! It was big celebrity news!

I, too, turned 50 this month! On this milestone birthday, I took a moment to reflect upon the knowledge and skillsets vital at the half-century mark.

By 50, you should have:

■ A retirement plan.

■ An acceptance that you’ll never retire.

■ A plan for how to handle the fallout when you sneeze/pee (speez.)

■ Comfort in your own skin.

■ A pair of jeans that don’t hurt.

■ An exercise you enjoy and do because you enjoy it not because you want it to change the way you fit in your jeans.

■ By 50 you’ll have been screwed over by your company and have gotten over it.

■ The knowledge that bitterness is unattractive and ruins everything sweet.

■ A recipe for cookies that only you can make just right.

■ A recipe for your attitude that includes the ingredients of generosity and gratitude mixed with self-confidence and self worth.

■ Patience with those who do things differently than you do.

■ Openness to doing some things differently than you used to do.

■ You should have love in your life and ibuprofen in your purse.

■ An acceptance that you don’t recognize most of the artists nominated for a Grammy this year.

■ A charitable cause you passionately support with your whole soul and actually support with your volunteer time.

■ You need to know when to hold ’em and when to fold ’em.

■ Eyeglass readers in every location you could potentially find yourself in.

■ A moisturizer with sunscreen that doesn’t irritate your eyes.

■ You should have honed the skill of politely getting out of a conversation.

■ The ability to recognize toxic people and the discipline to keep them at arm’s length.

■ A different hairstyle than the one you had in high school.

■ A willingness to fight the good fight and the maturity to stay out of the small skirmishes.

■ A go-to phrase for when it becomes necessary to tell someone to kiss your arse.

■ The phone number of a good plumber, electrician, auto mechanic and family doctor.

■ Cash squirreled away for when you need to call the plumber, electrician, auto mechanic or family doctor.

■ A spiritual guide that doesn’t ask for your squirreled-away cash.

■ A sense of adventure paired with comfortable walking shoes.

■ A funny story or two to tell at a dinner party or work function.

■ A classic outfit to wear to a dinner party or work function.

■ A talent for smoothly grabbing the check.

■ An appreciation that the enthusiasm of youth and the wisdom of age can gloriously co-exist.

■ A friend you can call at any time of day or night. Even if you haven’t called them in a decade.

■ By 50 you need to be the person that a treasured few can call any time of day or night.

■ Finally, you totally need a signature dance move.

Originally published in Monroe News

Filed Under: Column

Reader Interactions

Primary Sidebar

I’m On Insta!

  • by rebeccaregnier 4 months ago
    I may be cool (not) but I’ll never be Adelaide in Guys n Dolls cool like my mom! Wishing this
  • by rebeccaregnier 4 days ago
    Book Six on audio! Narrated by the talented  @traciodomvoiceartist  - it’s on Audible and Amazon. Tickled pink to have this
  • by rebeccaregnier 1 month ago
    No one to see it but us. And you. So really I decorated it for you! Hope it makes you
  • by rebeccaregnier 2 months ago
    Repost from  @ermabombeckwritersworkshop  using @RepostRegramApp - Truth. Thank you,  #ErmaChampion  Rebecca Regnier!  #GivingTuesday 
  • by rebeccaregnier 2 months ago
    He’s 29 today. Yep. I’m the mother of a 29 year old! So proud of him and honored to cast
  • by rebeccaregnier 3 weeks ago
    Someday soon we all will be together.  #merrychristmas   #2020 
  • by rebeccaregnier 2 weeks ago
    Last day of 2020. A couple of old Spartans took a potential future Spartan for a campus tour since they
  • by rebeccaregnier 3 months ago
    I’m not a pumpkin spice person. I am however an autumn leaves devotee. No filter pure Michigan backyard view.
  • by rebeccaregnier 2 months ago
    Widow’s Bay Book FOUR - Wands Have More Fun - is now available on audio! Check out all four on
  • by rebeccaregnier 4 weeks ago
    Look. I want Dua Lipa’s hat or headdress or jellyfish familiar. If I had one I’d wear it All. The.
  • by rebeccaregnier 2 months ago
    Little before/after. Started LAST December With a mission to update the 1999 great room. So far I’ve painted the fireplace,
  • by rebeccaregnier 1 week ago
    On occasion I’m an answer in a crossword puzzle. Protip: Don’t forget the “g” or your puzzle will be totally
  • by rebeccaregnier 2 months ago
    Home again. All the time. Is that why I’m getting fixated on little vignettes? I love home decor Insta- but
  • by rebeccaregnier 2 months ago
    Happy Thanksgiving! I know it’s a weird year but at least you didn’t get bombed by live turkeys! Happy Thanksgiving!
  • by rebeccaregnier 4 months ago
    Thank you.  #ruthbaderginsburg 
  • by rebeccaregnier 3 months ago
    Halloween in the time of Covid. Let’s see how this social experiment goes. It’s filled with self serve candy.  #halloween 
  • by rebeccaregnier 3 months ago
    Ok. I’ll play. How it started. How it’s going. A mic is a mic! And telling stories is what I
  • by rebeccaregnier 3 months ago
    Mel and Paul.
  • by rebeccaregnier 2 months ago
    This week’s column is a plea for you to be safe this season. And a roadmap on how. It’s not
  • by rebeccaregnier 1 month ago
    Every time I try to be a home decor Instagrammer.....  #nsdtr 
  • © Copyright 2021 Rebecca Regnier. All Rights Reserved. Privacy Policy
  • Site by Moxie Design Studios